» language http://www.catalyst4success.com Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:16:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 The Power of Words http://www.catalyst4success.com/the-power-of-words-2/ http://www.catalyst4success.com/the-power-of-words-2/#comments Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:55:17 +0000 kevin http://www.catalyst4success.com/?p=394 The language we use is directly connected to the way we feel. Words respresent the associations we’ve made with our experience with the outside world and our responses to them. This is obvious when we think of major events in our lives. Someone who has lived through a major earthquake will respond with a different set of emotions when they hear the word “earthquake” than someone who hasn’t. Those emotions will vary widely among people who have had the same experience. It depends on the meaning given to that word at the time of the event.
 
Words that have common cultural meaning, however, can evoke remarkably similar emotional responses. And each emotional response has a corresponding physiological response, so this is easy to test.
 
In this exercise, pay close attention to your body and slowly repeat out loud the following phrases:
 
- I can’t
- I’m not
- I wish
- I have to
- I must
- I’ll try
 
Most people describe their body as feeling stiff or tight when repeating these simple words. Their breathing is shallow and their awareness is limited. These phrases presuppose lack, scarcity and uncertainty, things most people like to avoid. Now repeat the following alternative phrases aloud and notice what your body does.
 
- I can
- I am
- I have
- I choose
- I claim
- I will
 
This time you may have even spoken a little louder. Your breathing was a little deeper, and there was a lightness in your body that felt uplifting. Your brain did this for you automatically, the same way it created the feelings with the first group of phrases. These phrases presuppose power, confidence and control over one’s destiny. Presuppositions are great tools for pursuasion – especially with yourself.
 
So for the next 30 days, choose to eliminate the negative phrases in the first group and replace them with the positive phrases in the second group. Just doing this will reduce some of the stress in your life.

]]> http://www.catalyst4success.com/the-power-of-words-2/feed/ 0 Language and Depression http://www.catalyst4success.com/language-and-depression/ http://www.catalyst4success.com/language-and-depression/#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 16:59:52 +0000 kevin http://www.catalyst4success.com/?p=312 The language you use with yourself and others strongly influences your beliefs and your beliefs influence your language. Which comes first depends on what you are conscious of.

Telling yourself that “you have to go to work” creates an entirely different biochemical reaction in the body and mind than “I can’t wait to go to work.” I realize that for most of us that may sound extreme, but what about just “I am going to work.” That states an undeniable fact that has less emotion to it than either of the prior statements.

These emotions often become aroused when we are asked to make a choice about something that either we really don’t want or have a prior commitment that interferes with the choice. Has someone ever asked you to an event and your response was “I can’t because I have to…” Double whammy! You are telling yourself (and the other person) that you have no control over your life. Worse yet, is knowing that you will not be going to or doing whatever it is you’re asked, you respond with an “I’ll try.” Ouch! Now you have just been dishonest. The person you told knows this. You know they know this and it eats at you until the event passes or you’re confronted with the choice again.

Here is the premise. You feel good about yourself to the degree to which you feel you have control over your time, activities and circumstances. I think the vast majority of the misery is related to the I-have-to-go-to-work syndrome. When in fact no one has to go to work. Just about everyone chooses to go to work because, to go back to Ellis, they prefer to have an income, and some other both tangible and intangible benefits that go along with working.

And this is true of every area of your life! The sooner you realize this, the sooner everything else will be fall into place, and you’ll begin making better choices for yourself. Some of you get this already, I know, but I’ll say it anyway. Everything you do is a choice you make, and yes that includes paying taxes. In your mind you may quickly evaluate the consequences of given alternatives and make a decision, but if you’re doing things you really don’t want to be doing, then it’s because you’re not driven from inside. Stop doing things to please other people, realize what you value is important, and make your choices based on that.

Here are some other words to be aware of and to reduce or eliminate:

  • Must, I have to, I need to -  removes choice
  • Should – suggests a choice based on someone else’s values or values of your own that you do not fully embrace
  • Always, Never – creates an impossible story
  • Try – trying is not doing. It’s deceitful. You can do something or not do something and you will always get a result. “I tried to call you.” does not accurately describe a possible course of past action. You may have called and there was no answer, but you  did call.
  • Can’t – telling yourself you’re not able to do something is usually not true in most cases. Watch your use of this word and see if the truth is that you don’t have the skills, haven’t devoted the time, or have made an alternate choice.
  • Wish – A wish is a desire for something you subconsciously believe cannot happen.
  • Maybe – Be definitive. This is similar to I’ll try. If someone asks you to do something for which you really cannot decide, state the reasons and commit to get back with a definitely answer by a certain date. If you’re asked to lunch by a friend, instead of “Maybe, I’ll see,” respond with “I’ll check my calendar and get back to you on Monday with a definite answer.”
  • I’ll be honest with you – this is used often, but it always raises the question in conversation. Have you not been honest up until now? Why are you only honest with me selectively?
]]> http://www.catalyst4success.com/language-and-depression/feed/ 0