Most of us know at a conscious, rational level that the past is gone and cannot be changed. Yet we may experience past events over and over again in our minds, and if these events are perceived as negative, they can cause feelings of distress, anxiety and depression. The key word here is perception. Even the original event was filtered through our system of values and beliefs to create our own unique perception. That perception, in all likelihood, is not an accurate representation of what actually happened, and the feelings one chooses to have about them are just that – choices.
Since our interpretation of the past is subject to the fallacies of perception anyway, why not choose to perceive those events in ways that are empowering. If you have an event that you ruminate on and it causes you anxiety or depression, ruminate on it in a new way. Make yourself the victor in a challenge you think you lost. Make a broken relationship the fault of the other instead of your own. If you failed at something, imagine you won and feel what that is like. It’s all in your imagination anyway, so make your imagination serve you so that you feel better. When you feel better, you perform better and your perception changes. When your perception changes, your thoughts change and therefore your memories change and it becomes a habit of thought; in the same way the old pattern of thought was a habit.
Tags: Depression, past
Choosing realities is a dangerous practice. While I understand the concept of “turning lemons into lemonade”, choosing to alter perceptions in a positive self-serving light, regardless of the reality of the event, can lead to delusional complications in ones life.
Isn’t it dangerous to believe that your negative perceptions are true? It’s possible to find a negative and a positive in any event. Why choose to dwell on the negative? Certainly, we can learn from our mistakes, but if we focus on them, it undermines our self-image and prevents future success. Martin Seligman proved this with his work in positive psychology. The danger in this, as he pointed out, is that too much optimism can lead to errors in judgment in certain situations. But our society is not suffering from too much optimism, our problems lie on the other side of the spectrum.
While the term “rumination” was used (contemplation or reflection), the concept of time (dwelling, focus) was not included in your supposition in the 2nd paragraph. Certainly one should not wallow in the event; it should be accepted for what it is (no bow or perfume need be administered), dealt with as a learning event and included with all other experiences. Balance, as alluded to by Seligman, is the key.