Beliefs, in particular, strongly held unexamined beliefs, can be one of the key causes of depression. Especially when you or the world around you does not behave according to those beliefs. In my upcoming program on overcoming depression, I deal with this more thoroughly, but here is the central idea.
Many of the beliefs we hold in adulthood were absorbed without question as children, and some before we are even able to question. At young ages we trust our adult caregivers to teach us how the world operates. This gives us structure and helps us make sense of the world. That’s why the discovery that Santa Claus is a myth can be so upsetting – we’re forced to reevaluate and it’s uncomfortable. For perhaps the first time, we consider that we must question what we are told.
This extends to one’s religious, political, gender and ethnic beliefs, as well as a host of others about work, money, sex, etc. If one develops rigid beliefs in these areas, s/he also builds expectations about behavior in others. Should one be exposed to situations and circumstances that are contrary to these, the result can be frustration, anger and depression. It’s a desire for the world to work according to one’s internal map.
One doesn’t have to give up his/her beliefs to overcome these feelings. What is important is to examine them with the idea of allowing for other possibilities. Doing so acknowledges reality and fosters acceptance. Once there is acceptance, anger and frustration diminishes, and depression can too.
I am learning this is true. With Kevin’s help I’ve been able to discover with clarity what I am actually looking for which is different than what my held perception has been. Like many, I’ve had perceptions of what should be rather than what is and am finding that with the acceptance of what is, I am experiencing a deeper joy in life… including my relationships with others.